the movement
honor ancestors, serve descendants, nourish all
Top pic: Dancers using variations of Utkatasana (chair pose) during a Balinese dance.
Bottom pic : Me in a variation of Utkatasana (chair pose) with a block between my legs.
Get comfortable in the uncomfortable
It is late summer 1998. I am 22 years old. I’m in a yoga asana class. My mat is in the corner of the group exercise room at the local gym. The overhead lights are off. We are 15 mins into an hour-long class. We are in Utkatasana, Chair Pose (pictured above). The teacher says, “We will be here several breaths.” I think to myself, “Haven’t we already been here for several breaths?”
Ten breaths in, my quads (front of thighs) start to burn with the effort. 15 breaths in, my butt muscles start to burn too. My nose is itchy. My sports bra is digging into my shoulder. My mind is jumping around and my breath gets shallow, making every part of this more challenging. I feel wobbly even though I have two feet on the floor. I start to tell myself stories that I’m too weak, I’m too heavy, that I don’t belong in this yoga class or even at a gym! My body is uncomfortable, and I want out. The teacher guides us into the next asana.
At the end of class I hear another student asking the teacher, “Does chair pose get any easier?” With a little dialogue the student explains, “I’m not in pain, but I’m not comfortable.” The teacher assures the student, “You are not the only one,” and asks the room if anyone else feels uncomfortable in chair pose? I (and others) raise a hand into the air, “Me too!” The collective chuckles in recognition, and our teacher lovingly invites all of us to consider, “If you find a pose uncomfortable, perhaps it is a pose you need to practice more.” That inquiry has stayed with me ever since. In the last 26 years studying the movement arts and the science of human movement I’ve been reminded often that we (humans) want and need to move; we want to give our best effort without injury. I whole-heartedly agree. Many forms of mindful movement practices can help with this inquiry. Yoga helps me.
Top pic: Illustration of Hanuman, The Book of Hindu Imagery by Eva Rudy Jansen.
Bottom pic: Me using split action while walking along a ferry pier in Sorong, Indonesia.
Yoga Asana practice- a space for discovery.
The roots of yoga teach us the asanas are born of epic myths and study of nature. Ancient and exciting stories of heroic Hanuman, the Monkey deity, son of the wind, describe him leaping across oceans in a single bound, in service to his loved ones. When exploring the pose Hanumanasana (monkey pose) the practitioner works with variations of the splits. Each time I play with Hanumanasana on my mat I am reminded of all the activities of daily living that require varying degrees of split-action and split-stance in my legs; walking, lunging, dancing, climbing stairs etc. Going into, maintaining, and coming out of variations of Hanumanasana requires equal parts strength, flexibility, a willingness to try.
When we come to an asana practice, we come willing to try on/try out shapes that are outside our everyday norms. In doing so we embody the power and precision of a warrior, the root and rise of a tree, the balance and focus of an eagle. This investigation of the asana, the examination of our breath, and how we move through a pose may feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable. The yogic mindset of curiosity and inquiry in our practice helps us dissolve the mental barriers and resistance to the unknown. In doing so we expand our experience to all states of existence. Expanding our horizons is innate to our human nature.
Guided by life lessons
I’m grateful to be in conversation with many of you who share your insights, ideas, life lessons and even recipes! Here are a few pearls of wisdom that you have shared in your experiences with getting comfortable in the uncomfortable.
1) Give and receive. The most effective way for humans to grow and learn is in community. Connect with others on a journey. It need not even be the same one you are on. For the last few years my hubby has been learning to get comfortable in the uncomfortable arena of public speaking. We trade insights and encourage each other. I have learned that the same energy that cheers on a fellow explorer fuels my own odyssey. Have you heard the phrase what you give is what you get? My experience tells me this statement holds truth.
Photo: My hubby rolling in the deep of public speaking and doing a smashing job!
2) Go in and out of what is uncomfortable. Rehabilitation exercises for injuries, movement patterns, and yoga asanas are not just static shapes we magically appear in. We have to move into them and move out of them. Try using the repeated movement into and out of an uncomfortable situation to cultivate physical, mental, and emotional clarity. You have the agency to come and go. Therefore, you may choose to stay. My heart and mind respond differently when I choose to stay versus when I force myself to stay. Choosing to stay breathes spaciousness. Forcing to stay feels contractive.
3) Know you are not alone. When my teacher asked if anyone else felt uncomfortable in chair pose, I along with several other folks raised their hands. Feeling uncomfortable does not make you weird, or crazy, or “less than” in any way, it makes you human and the good news is that as humans we can find a way to find ease in the effort.
4) Grant yourself grace as you figure it out. You are exploring. What you experience will not be the same every time. It will not look the same for you as it does for others. Sometimes you will underestimate or overestimate. Some days you may feel like you are progressing along a paved highway, other times you may feel like you are rambling along a side trail. The fruits of the exploration are found along the way because there is no final destination. Take the time you need; take the space you need. Grant grace to yourself and others on the path.
The invitation is to explore and observe. Breathe and know you are not alone on this wild and wondrous lifelong expedition. May we keep on our path, like the millions of humans before us, for thousands oof years, steadfast as a turtle, wise as a sage, heart and mind blossoming like a lotus flower.
August 2024
